


All for you

by spideys_ass



Series: I’m glad you’re here, man [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dean shows emotion, Emotionally Unstable Dean Winchester, First Kiss, Fix-It, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Requited Love, SPN writers bring back cas challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:29:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27566782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spideys_ass/pseuds/spideys_ass
Summary: After Castiel’s confession of love to Dean, he dies.And since when has Dean ever been okay with that?Dean, with the help of Jack, figure a way to bring him back that includes Death’s library and yet another deal.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: I’m glad you’re here, man [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2020010
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	1. Don’t make me lose you too

**Author's Note:**

> “I did everything I could to get you out. Everything! I did not leave you.”

“Dean!” Jack is the first one to run to him, Sam quickly on his tail, to get to the curled up human in the corner. Dean sat against the wall of the bunker, knees bent with his hands covering his face, as he had sat for hours, _hours._

While there was dried evidence of where tears had fallen and dried before, he was eerily quiet now, in a state of shock. He had nothing to do, nothing to say... What was the point in saving the world without Cas?

Cas who had always given his life, time and time again for the Winchesters. Cas who they always sent to do their dirty work. Cas who Dean always belittled. Cas who was always looking for absolution from him for dumb, stupid little mistakes. Cas who loved him. 

Fuck, Cas loved him. 

Sam crouched to his left, reaching out to touch his shoulder, his hand nearing Castiel’s dried handprint. Dean flinched back violently, partly because he was on edge, and partly he wanted to preserve the feeling of Cas touching him, Cas with his hands on him, for the last time. He wanted to preserve the feeling.

“Woah, woah, woah, Dean, what happened?”

“He-“ Dean croaked, but couldn’t get past the lump forming again in his throat. Speaking would just bring the meltdown on faster. He closed his eyes, pressing his lips together in an attempt to hold back the inventible tears. 

To his right, Jack’s eyebrows furrowed. “Where’s Cas?”

And that did it. The dam broke, tear flowing freely down as Dean inhaled a broken sob. He sucked in a quick few breaths, hyperventilating. 

“Dean, breathe!” Sam couldn’t just tell him to breathe, he didn’t know— he _didn’t know_ —

He looked in Jack’s direction. Kid looked concerned, and _oh_ , how he looked so much like Castiel, he was irrefutably his son. From his expression to every soft facial feature, he could see Cas in all of them. He had to tell Jack, his dad is gone. That he, Dean Winchester, like normal, has taken from Castiel without regard once again. 

Dean tried and failed to control his breaths, sitting up on his knees in front of the blurry image of the boy that looked so much like the man he loved. 

“J—“ _Jack,_ he can’t, he _can’t_ the pain was overwhelming. He reached out to hold him, putting his hand on Jack’s shoulder, the same way Cas always touches him. 

“Dead,” The word left his lips softly, and it felt vulgar, and so so wrong. Cas should be here, alive, and Dean should’ve been the one to save him. 

Watching Jack’s eyes fill with tears was heartbreaking, but sobering. He had to be there for this kid. He’s failed at it every time in the past.

“No, no, _how?_ ”

“The empty. It took him. I think he made... some kind of deal? He summoned it, and let it... take him.”

“Oh...” Tears streamed down the boy’s face. “I never thought this soon...”

“It’s my fault.” Dean closed his eyes, a few tears falling faster as he did. “He wanted to save me.”

“No, Dean.” And Jack lurched forward, arms circling Dean, and hiding his wet face in his shoulder. Seeing the kid in pain too only worsened the hurt, but it felt good knowing he wasn’t alone in his care for Cas. Of course Sam always cared about Cas, but... it wasn’t quite to the same extent. To Dean and Jack, he was everything. Even if Dean could never quite express it.

And now Cas was dead, or, in the empty, thinking Dean didn’t care about him, didn’t return his feelings, because he was a slow fucking dumbass that couldn’t process what was happening.

He squeezed the kid back, holding on to him tightly, but all he could think about was Cas.


	2. I’d have died for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You made an exception for me.” 
> 
> —
> 
> Dean finds a way to bring Cas back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is completely unedited, but I just wanted to churn something out before the last episode tomorrow! 
> 
> Also if you guys would be interested in a sequel, maybe something explicit, y’know, to tie things up, let me know down below!

Dean formulated a plan. 

Just a few days ago, when they had Chuck right in the bunker with them, Sam had talked to the empty. And if Sam could find it on incident, Dean would find it too, hunt that son of a bitch down until he gets Cas back.

From Dean’s understanding, Sam was looking for chuck’s death book or whatever, in Death’s personal library. How he got there, Dean had no idea, so he sent the kid to ask Sam. He wouldn’t bring Sam onboard. Sam would probably stop him, tell him he’s acting rash, or not grieving properly. But screw that, Sam didn’t know the relationship Cas and him had, Sam didn’t know what Cas confessed. So keeping it quiet was better for him, for now.

Everything was still in the bunker library, just as Sam and Cas had left it. It hurt, to think Cas had been here, working right here among this mess, so recently. Dean found the key that Jack told him he’d need, as Jack looked around, for something within reach with a little bit of Latin on it. He picked up the box of the key of death. 

“This. I can feel it.” Jack held out the box, towards Dean.

Dean held up the key to the box. “Looks like it would fit. So you just speak the incantation and a door shows up and we put this key in it?”

“According to Sam, yes.” 

“Okay, hit it.” Dean looked towards Jack for the incantation. I mean, he’s a nephilim, right? So, Latin should be like, inherit or something. Plus it would probably be good to let Jack feel useful in a way that’s not suicidal, for once. He looked over to Jack, to find a confused expression and sighed. “You can say it now.”

“Okay. Viator mortalis, cave, quoniam scias Clavem Mortis pensare graviter. Ii tamen desideres, ut introeas illum abyssum obscurissium artis, opus est tibi porta.”

To their right, the brick wall started to glow, condensing in an outline of a door, complete with a bright keyhole. Dean rushed forward, fumbling with the key, turning it and opening the door. 

“Dean!” He turned around to see Jack, looking at him, a concerned expression on his face. “How are you going to get him back?” 

The kid looked how Dean felt. Lost. And it didn’t matter how Dean got Cas back, he just had to do it. He didn’t know, he had no idea how he would pull this off. But he didn’t say that to Jack. 

He pulled the door open a little further, looked mournfully at Jack, and slipped through. 

It was surprisingly modern, the library, large, infinite bookshelves, and he was down at the end, W. Winchester, he supposed. 

Sam talked to the empty here. So probably, it could come and go as it pleased?

“Hey! Empty! Shadow! Or whatever the hell you call yourself!” Dean shouted, up into the... Well, the top of the library looked somewhat like an abyss. “Whatever entity you are...” Dean sighed.“C’mon man, you took Cas. And if you know anything about me, you know I’ll stop at nothing to get him.”

After a lot more shouting, Dean leaned back against the shelf, sliding to the ground. “Cas... Cas Cas Cas Cas Cas Cas, Castiel please.” Dean swallowed back the lump forming in his throat. It’s not that he necessarily thought this would work, it’s that he _needed_ it to work. He was out of all options, blinded by his hope that even in this fucked up world that Chuck was spinning, he would still have Cas. Dean felt his vision turn blurrier and blurrier, and he closed his eyes, letting the tears run down his face quietly. “Cas... I...”

A whooshing sound before him quickly got louder, Dean opened his eyes to see the same black goo solidify in front of him. He jumped to his feet, stepping back, away from the creature.

The blackness became figure shaped, and gave way to flesh, and a tan trench coat. 

“Cas!” Dean lunged forward, not questioning, not having it in him to doubt what he was seeing. 

All of a sudden, Cas swiped his hand to the left, and Dean flew back, his back hitting the ‘W’ book shelves and staying there, elevated. Cas hit him, his hand coming down hard enough to cut his cheek. Dean flinched, snapping his eyes open when Cas grabbed his face, his lips forcefully parting.

“Always you, Dean Winchester. You a always, at root, the cause of all my problems.” 

NOPE.

Not Cas. 

While it looked like Cas, it sounded nothing like him. 

“What. Are you?” Dean sputtered out. 

“Mmm. What do you think, Dean? You called for me?” The not-Cas sung. 

“The... Shadow?”

“If that’s what you want to call me, sure. I am the cosmic entity that resides over the empty.” It took Dean by the neck and threw him to the ground. “And I am _AWAKE_.”

Dean grasped ahold of the nearest shelf, drastically trying to pull himself up, but instead, the death books tumbled off, pooling between him and it. The empty, shadow... whatever.

“It was already so loud, and now your gnat of a boyfriend has only made it _worse_.” It stopped down, making Dean look up at it. 

“C-Cas?”

The entity laughed, mocking him. “C-C-C-Cas?” The laughter sounded hallow in the vast room.

“Yes, your little angel-“

“Give him back!”

The entity actually looked taken aback. “Pardon?” It’s smile grew wider. “Are you making demands from me, Winchester? Little Castiel and I had a deal. He belongs to me.”

“But you, you said he’s awake. And it’s loud, right? So just... just give him back.” Dean looked up, resigned. “Please.”

The empty crouched down, his face mere inches from Dean’s. “They’re all awake. He means nothing.” It licked its lips, and Dean stared before looking up, at the glint in its eye. That bubbly, horrifying laugh, again filled the air. “I know why you want him back so badly.” He grew closer, simulated breathing, so they were swapping the same air. Dean attempted to recoil, but there was no space. “I think I’d prefer to watch you both suffer.” He suffered another blow to the side of his head, his eyes catching the writing on the cover of the book.

_Winchester._

The entity stood, only taking a step before Dean called out.

“Wait! Please, don’t go.”

It glared at him in question.

“What if I said that Cas, is the only one that can help us defeat God?”

“I’m not falling for any of your tricks, Winchester.”

“It’s not a trick.” Dean stood up, his hand extended towards the entity in caution. “Chuck even said it himself. That in all the worlds he created, this Cas was different. That means he can’t control him! He’s our best chance.” Dean glared at the twisted version of Cas. “And if you don’t give him back, we lose. And you never get to sleep again.”

“Hmm. Quite the predicament, I see. Trying to wiggle your way out of a deal through another deal. The Winchester way, I suppose?” As it spoke, the same black liquid that had taken Cas expanded out from it. 

Was it— Dean let himself hope. Was he getting Cas back?

“But let’s be clear, _Dean_ , I will _not_ be put in this position again. This is the final deal I make. I better not ever see any of you again.”

“Fine, fine! Just— Please—“

“Do not fail, Dean.”

The black untethered liquid spread, solidifying into another figure while some of it still stayed, forming a sort of portal behind the shadow. In the same way as the fake-Cas appeared, so did he, tan showing first, until he was clear of the liquid. Cas stumbled forward.

“Cas!” Dean was all too excited to catch him in his arms.

But he celebrated too quickly, blue light soon erupted from his angel’s eyes and mouth. Dean panicked, the empty wouldn’t kill him now? Would it? It just promised to give him back! 

“What—“ Dean yelled towards the shadow, turning his head to it and shooting daggers in his glare, ready to fight for Cas. But the shadow just nodded to Castiel. 

Dean turned back to him, and the blue light was leaving, swirling like demon smoke.

“I have to admit, this was pretty convenient.” The shadow giggled, the swirling light gradually growing closer and closer to Dean. “For both of us, I suppose.”

“Huh?” Dean was overwhelmed with confusion, the light approaching him.

“Dean.” Castiel’s eyes were ever so wide, panicked, but all Dean could think was, _at least he’s alive._

And then he felt it. Searing, hot pain at his shoulder, the light entering him, feeling as if it were ripping through his flesh, which, it probably was. He didn’t remember screaming, but from the look on Cas’s face, he probably did.

“Well. Now that that’s been taken care of.” The shadow smiled maliciously at the two of them, shaken and leaning into each other, holding to each other tight. “Tootle-oo!” It snapped, the black liquid folding into itself until it collapsed entirely.

“Cas.” Dean’s voice was hoarse. “What the hell was that?” He reached forward, casually placing his hand on Cas’s chest, only for Cas to flinch back with a pained gasp. 

“Cas!”

“I’m okay.” Cas smiled, and it was a sight Dean would never get sick of. “My grace, he ripped it out, channeled the rest of it into our bond.” 

“What?” The rest of it? Their bond? Their ‘profound bond’ that Cas had referred to?

“When I touched your soul in Hell, you were branded, some of my grace resided in a permanent open connection between us. He just channeled the rest of it into the bond too.” 

Dean furrowed his brows, trying to make sense of it. His brain was clouded though, overwhelmed with _Cas, he has Cas back._

“Thank you.” Dean looked at Cas, but the angel’s—Angel? Human?— eyes were lowered. “I’m sorry. If what I said made you uncomfortable, but I—“ 

“Cas.” Dean put his hand on Cas’s shoulder, a mirror of how Cas touches him. “You dumb son of a bitch.” His hand travelled up his shoulder, grazing up his neck, to settle at Dean cupping Cas’s face. “You said the one thing you want, you can’t have?” He spoke softly. “I don’t know where you got that impression, but you’re wrong.”

“Dean. You don’t have—“

“No I do.” Cas’s cheek felt so soft in his hold. “I should’ve said this years ago. Cas I-“ Dean stuttered. It was so hard for him to actually get the words out, to power through it, after forcing himself to repress it for so long. He leaned in, gently touching his forehead to Cas’s. “Cas.” He blinked, slowly, before studying the angel’s face. “I love you too.”

Cas’s face spread into a warm smile, and he let out a happy exhale. It felt so intimate, so good to be this close, breathing each other’s air. Dean loved it. It felt closest to peace as he’s ever felt. 

“You do?” Cas looked at him sheepishly, full of hope, but also fear. 

“I do.” Dean huffed in pleasant surprise when Cas collapsed against him, burying his face and hands against his chest in the most adorable view. “And I swear, Cas, I swear I’ll spent every day making up for everything I’ve done to you.” 

Cas moved his head from his chest and looked up at him, furrowed brows, concerned eyes and all. 

“I’ve hurt you a lot, Cas. I know it. I’ve fucked up so many times because I was a coward. But not anymore. I promise.”

He knew he didn’t deserve Cas’s look of adoration, but he returned it nonetheless. His selfless, loving angel deserved everything Dean had to offer. Slowly, Dean lowered his face to Cas’s, gravitating into his space, and softly pressed their lips together.

After a few peaceful moments, they reluctantly parted, breath elevated and intermingling. Dean looked down, biting back a silly, full smile as heat warmed his cheeks. 

As he looked down, his eye once again caught the death books he’d knocked to the ground. The ones bearing his last name. This time, he got a better look at the name before it. 

_Castiel Winchester_

_Human_

Dean inhaled sharply, his heart filled with so much hope and joy he’d never felt before. He gave into his chest’s pang of love and leaned in again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the events got a bit jumbled! Because I felt like the characters wouldn’t address it immediately, these parts may have been confusing:  
> -Dean was able to “wake up” Cas and the empty due to that connection, their bond  
> -The reformation of the grace bond reestablished the handprint on Dean’s shoulder, and when Dean touched Cas’s chest, that created another brand
> 
> Anyway! Guess who’s panicking for the finale tomorrow! I’m gonna make this a series, because more than likely, I’ll add some sort of follow up, so if you enjoyed, please comment, kudos, and subscribe to the series!
> 
> *Manifesting a Destiel endgame*


End file.
